The Facebook Minefield

Ah, Facebook.  A great way of connecting, keeping in touch, and one of the biggest minefields in existence.  I never really post anything on it, partly because it is really, really easy to offend someone and partly because I can’t be bothered.  I regularly take Facebook breaks (Mother’s Day, for example).  Sometimes it’s just a weird place to be.

Like today, for example.

The most interesting series of posts took place—and in this blog post, I will protect the innocent.  It was one of those FB convos where someone you are friends with posts a reply to someone else, and then suddenly you can see anyone else who also replied, and all of their friends—I think I just revealed my lack of techiness, but you know what I mean.

So anyway, some woman had posted, “How old is too old to have a baby?”   I wanted to reply, “Stop, everyone!  Don’t respond!  If you do, this is one of those times where you really, really need to think before you hit reply!” I don’t know the original poster or the majority of the responders, but can confidently guess most of their ages at under-25.  Sooooo.....the first 20 or so folks said that no one should be allowed to have a baby after age 30.  Ummm, yeah, 30. 

So the last couple of posts went like this:

WW:  After 30, people should have to get sterilized.  Their eggs are dried up anyway.

XX:  Where is the defriend button?

YY:  Why, who you defriending?

XX:  All of you. 

Now, when I was 22, I was an idiot.  I had no idea what life was going to bring, both the amazing and the sucky.  I’m sure I said all kinds of naïve things, and I'm betting that this group will have a very different perspective when they are my age.  I remember thinking that 30 was just, plain old. 

That being said, I really felt for Ms. Defriender.  I vaguely, vaguely know her (ala Facebook), so I can only guess at her situation, but I’ll bet I’m not far off.  Maybe I've misread it.  But I don't think so.  The posts ended there, and I really hope that is because her “friends” were emailing her apologies.  And since I don’t truly know the situation, that’s what I’m going to think happened.  At least, I hope some of them got it together enough to reach out. 

I know we are not too old to adopt (we are both 38, in case you are wondering), and not too old to be excellent parents.  I would have been an awful mother at 22.  Some women are wonderful mothers at a young age—I know I would not have been.  So be it.  But 30 years is too old for a baby?  

Well, our agency and Ethiopia has approved us to adopt in our doddering dotage, and don't seem to mind our wizened, shriveled bodies.  Hopefully our child won't either.

Facebook.  Ah, Facebook.