As the months go by...

Five months on The List. When we started our Ethiopian adoption process, the longest wait time for a baby boy was 10 months. We would have been halfway there. Not so much anymore.

But 5 months is 5 months....

Paperwork Call

The USCIS call today regarding paperwork after bringing a child home was pretty straightforward, covering topics such as types of visas your child will get, what to do if names are spelled wrong, what is needed to enter the US, etc. For those who didn't have a chance to listen in, the Powerpoint is here--near the bottom (and they pretty much just read the presentation from the slides, so the pertinent points are covered). I printed it off for later use.

Happy Friday!!

Strange Week

I wish I had more to post, something adoption-related and exciting. But there isn't much happening right now on the family front, nor will there be for a while. We do have a call with USCIS on Friday regarding "The First Year Home"--I don't really know what the content will be, but am interested in what they have to say. Assuming it's paperwork-related, and while we are pretty far from worrying about that, it's good to start mentally preparing for it.

It's been a strange week in the infertility/adoption/Horn of Africa world. Between a new surrogacy scandal, exceedlingly difficult international adoption issues, and the famine that has a good likelihood of directly affecting our future child and their first family, I have found myself defending the infertile and the adopting over and over again. And while the greed of the few who prey on folks who want children is unacceptable, vicious and cruel to all involved, it does not represent all of us. In fact, the adoptive/infertile parents have not been charged with wrongdoing in any of the cases. I thought the "Octo.mom" situation was bad enough, as we were IVF-ing when her story broke, but I was wrong. The perception the public has about those of us who build our families in alternative ways is changing, and (I believe) not for the better. Infertile families are often seen as depraved, desiring to steal babies, which is simply not the case. Yet it is the perception, and I make that statement after reading comments following several news stories regarding recent cases--yikes! Infertility is a medical condition, not a mental health condition (hence why IFers really hate being told to "relax"--who would say that to a cancer patient, or even someone with allergies?? "Just relax" = patronizing and dismissive, but that's a post for another time) and one that needs advancement in areas like medical coverage, and that will be largely dependent on advocation from IF families, friends and medical professionals. And while the cases in the media are not the norm, they are the focus. It's hard to stop thinking about those affected, and what they must be going through right now. It's equally hard to comprehend how the actions of those who caused these problems will affect the futures of children and families alike.

So anyway, it's been a strange week for us in our little bubble of a world. Here's hoping the book will be thrown at those who endangered the lives of children for nothing more than simple greed, and that those families dealing with the aftermath have ample support.

Oh, and if any PAPs want info on the call on Fri, let me know in comments! I don't think it's just for the Ethiopia program...

Four Years Ago

A boy and a girl got married. Don't they look young and innocent?

This boy and girl thought they would start having babies right away.

What a nice, sweet (albeit, clueless) plan!

So here we are, four years later. Still planning, still hoping, and still in love.

And, at the end of the day, that's what matters.

"Yes, I went to my reunion....

...It was as if everyone had swelled."
-Joan Cusack, Grosse Pointe Blank

This weekend we headed back to Montana for Cory's 20th high school reunion. Yes, 20th high school reunion. Considering we are the same age, I can truly say I have no idea how this happened. I mean, I am 19 still, right? Right?? No?

Dang.

Anyway, it was fun to put faces to names of folks I had heard about for years, but had never officially met. Nice people, good food, good times for all. Everyone met a local watering hole on Friday night...

We skipped "Family Day" on Saturday, but went to the big dinner/dancing night. Nothing like Montana-folk to know how to cook a really, really good steak.

Good times, sun, heat, vacation days, no pelting, driving, freezing cold rain...perfection.

Although this morning, I'm feeling a little like this...

Another Month Down

Which makes

months since we were added to The List. Only 14 more to go!! Yayyy....

Learning Amharic

One of our projects while waiting is to learn a bit of Amharic, as we have bumped up the requested age of a child of our adoption. Since our future kiddo may have some language when coming home with us, it would be in everyone's best interest for us to be able to communicate a little bit, but I have also learned that the best way to learn Amharic is to be born an Ethiopian baby in an Ethiopian family in Ethiopia--it's pretty different and pretty darned hard.

So we got this book/CD combo this week:

(Simple Amharic for Adoptive Families)



This is an excellent resource for us, and exactly what we were looking for.

And it broke our hearts.

Here are the first few phrases:

I am your mommy.
I am your daddy.
You are going to live with us.
We will take good care of you.
We are so happy to be your family.
Don't be afraid.
We are going to ride on an airplane!

This long-distant future, elusive, theoretical experience of going to Africa, meeting our child and bringing them home to live with us just slammed us upside the head in a major way. The loss, the fear, the confusion our child will face...I think I just actually, truly started processing this. We are doing our homework, reading the books, taking the classes. But attempting to explain to a child just how much their life is changing, for better or worse, is just...I don't know. Inconceivable. Understanding from their point of view...also inconceivable. But we will try. And try. And try.

Honestly, I could write a novel or a completely incomprehensible blog post, so I think I'll stop while I'm ahead. And I will slowly, and I'm sure incompletely, attempt to wrap my head around this aspect of adoption.

Ethiopia Adoption Program Update

We were just informed by our agency that the Ethiopian government is going ahead with plans to close specific orphanages over the next few months; these institutions are being closed for a variety of reasons. One orphanage is connected to our agency, although the relationship is extremely new and (to my knowledge) few, if any, referrals have come out of this particular program. Instead, the relationship has involved the creation of humanitarian programs, which will continue to build with the hope that the orphanage can apply to be licensed again in the future.

The closure of orphanages was discussed back in March when the slowdown happened, so this is not particularly surprising. I'm glad that our agency will, at this time, not be overly affected by these decisions, and they strongly support efforts to ensure ethical adoptions. We hope the institutions they work with will not be affected in the future.

Referrals will likely be extremely slow in the coming months as court closes in Addis for the monsoon season.

Fourth in the Mountains

For the Americans out there, happy 4th of July! Without much to talk about regarding our adoption (other than 4 referrals last week--not too shabby!), we did have a really fun weekend hanging with my parents in the booming metropolis of Mineral, California. Population 90.

Booming. Metropolis.

Maggie was an angel on the long drive down...

Mineral is located in Lassen Volcanic National Park (ignore my Seattle-white legs, btw--they just may blind you)

The lovely cabin...

We did nada, zip and zero. Just mainly read, slept and yakked. (beware the picture below. it may traumatize you)

We also drank many, many lattes topped with whipped cream and crushed-up Heath bars. Again, not too shabby!

A lovely weekend! Hope everyone had a safe and fun 4th of July!

**Oh, and it was H-O-T!!!

A Haiku to the Weather

Days since over eighty?
Two hundred and ninety-six
Bite me, Seattle

OK, enough complaining about the weather. No? You want more haikus? Well, alllll riiiight, if you insist.
(Clearing throat)

An Ode to A Cat
Loping, graceful, sleek
Leaps straight into the glass door
Fellow cats laugh, point

(I swear they were laughing. I coulda made millions on Youtube).