Thursday, May 19, 2011

The Facebook Minefield

Ah, Facebook.  A great way of connecting, keeping in touch, and one of the biggest minefields in existence.  I never really post anything on it, partly because it is really, really easy to offend someone and partly because I can’t be bothered.  I regularly take Facebook breaks (Mother’s Day, for example).  Sometimes it’s just a weird place to be.
Like today, for example.
The most interesting series of posts took place—and in this blog post, I will protect the innocent.  It was one of those FB convos where someone you are friends with posts a reply to someone else, and then suddenly you can see anyone else who also replied, and all of their friends—I think I just revealed my lack of techiness, but you know what I mean.
So anyway, some woman had posted, “How old is too old to have a baby?”   I wanted to reply, “Stop, everyone!  Don’t respond!  If you do, this is one of those times where you really, really need to think before you hit reply!” I don’t know the original poster or the majority of the responders, but can confidently guess most of their ages at under-25.  Sooooo.....the first 20 or so folks said that no one should be allowed to have a baby after age 30.  Ummm, yeah, 30. 

So the last couple of posts went like this:
WW:  After 30, people should have to get sterilized.  Their eggs are dried up anyway.
XX:  Where is the defriend button?
YY:  Why, who you defriending?
XX:  All of you. 
Now, when I was 22, I was an idiot.  I had no idea what life was going to bring, both the amazing and the sucky.  I’m sure I said all kinds of naïve things, and I'm betting that this group will have a very different perspective when they are my age.  I remember thinking that 30 was just, plain old. 

That being said, I really felt for Ms. Defriender.  I vaguely, vaguely know her (ala Facebook), so I can only guess at her situation, but I’ll bet I’m not far off.  Maybe I've misread it.  But I don't think so.  The posts ended there, and I really hope that is because her “friends” were emailing her apologies.  And since I don’t truly know the situation, that’s what I’m going to think happened.  At least, I hope some of them got it together enough to reach out. 
I know we are not too old to adopt (we are both 38, in case you are wondering), and not too old to be excellent parents.  I would have been an awful mother at 22.  Some women are wonderful mothers at a young age—I know I would not have been.  So be it.  But 30 years is too old for a baby?  

Well, our agency and Ethiopia has approved us to adopt in our doddering dotage, and don't seem to mind our wizened, shriveled bodies.  Hopefully our child won't either.

Facebook.  Ah, Facebook.    


  1. Yes, facebook really brings out the worst in people. I've seen many an offensive thing written without people understanding how hurtful it can be. Good call on Mothers Day.

  2. UGH! FAAAAAACEBOOK! It's an evil, evil thing.

  3. Facebook is so weird. Have you ever seen STFU Parents? So funny.

  4. Agreed. Facebook is the DEVIL. My husband begs me on a daily basis to quit Facebook because of how upset it makes me when I see those types of posts, or even baby bump or baby picture posts, for that matter. That is just plain silly. I didn't even get married until I was 32!!! Are we supposed to just marry any guy off the street so we can have a baby before 30? Plus, my ovaries were already shriveled at age 25 anyways :) Hey, I lost one of your comments where you gave me your e-mail on that day when Blogger went dead. Would love to talk though!!!

  5. Yes, ugggghhh facebook. It is hard--I have to be in the right place to look at it. Yuck.

  6. Daniel E.Clark was born in 1866. Ellen Rose Condon Clark was born in 1871. My mother, Luella, was born in 1911 which makes them 45 and 40 when she was born. Her little brother, Howard, came along later. I'd have to do a little research to find out exactly when. I, also, have a paternal aunt who had her last child at 50. Enough said?...Cuz once removed

  7. Ah...the ignorance of youth! {Spoken like a true 30-something, huh?!}

    By the way, not sure if this is the proper place to say it {maybe I should facebook it!;)}, but I really appreciate your comments on my posts! You've been a great support for me these last few weeks! :)

  8. Facebook has become so boring and stupid. It's so 2010. xx

  9. I think people post and don't really think about it. It's so annoying.

  10. Love this post about Facebook. I tend to "hide" people a LOT! Makes me wonder why I ever "friened" them in the first place!?!?

    Thank you for your comment on my post (*Sigh*). If only we lived closer to one another, I could make you a refreshing glass of iced tea (sweet of course) and we could sit and chat for hours!! ;)


  11. Thank you for your comment on my blog today. It is always great to "meet" new blog friends! Oh, I so hear you on Facebook. I cannot tell you how many times I have decided I'm just going to quit already, because it's so darn annoying, and then I just can't quite get myself to quit. It's addictive!

  12. This post made me laugh today, and I really needed to laugh. Sadly it was at someone else's expense I guess. Facebook - why was someone over 30 friends with all these youngun's anyway??! I only accept friends who will pander to all of my facebook needs. ;) (amanda from Watershed)