So a couple different folks suggested we ask about our numbers on the list, which was really, really good advice, so thank you. I love this community—it helps keep the insanity at bay. So anyhow, our agency doesn’t really give numbers regularly until you are nearing the top, as child requests can change, etc. But you can request then anytime. I was kind of avoiding that until after the holidays, as there has been so little movement. Last April-ish, we were around #72 and there have been 7 referrals since then. So doing the math on that (…carry the one….) we should be around 65 or so. Apparently, people have left the program or changed their child requests, because our new number is 35 for an infant and around 13 for a child over the age of 1. So if the next 35 referrals (which they expect to start in around Feb) are infants, we wait as those families are matched. At the current rate, that will a long, long wait. If some referrals for 18 month olds are mixed in, we move up that list. However, all of the referrals for the last 7 months have been infant referrals, so we should really view ourselves as #35. Anything else would be icing.
These numbers were unexpected by a long shot, and were really helpful, as I feel like it gives us breathing room to make a solid decision. We started this process over a year ago, so are pretty attached to Ethiopia and would love to continue on this road. Yet I’m not sure if I am comfy having all of our eggs in one basket. The conversation with the agency was very, very honest, very informational and very blunt, which was good, albeit hard to hear (could you tell from my last post? Ha). The one piece of information we did not have was our numbers, and I don’t have any idea right now what I think about that.
Should we wait it out and just hope for the best? Our agency is still allowing families to enter the program (with warnings about long wait times), they are working with quite a few orphanages who may be issuing referrals again in February, and are being as honest and forthcoming as they can.
Should we dual and make our 2nd adoption (we’d like 2 kids—pipe dream, I know) from Ethiopia? Dualing is expensive and easier said than done. However, it’s a really good option and I’m glad it’s available.
Should we leave the Ethiopia program? No. Not yet.
It’s all so confusing and makes me feel like this:
(that’s my nephew, who just learned to cross his eyes from my sister, who always was a talented eye-crosser)
Update so this makes more sense:
I love comments and advice from those who have been there, so keep 'em coming. And just to be clear, dualing adoption is basically applying to another program within our agency and seeing what happens. Only one adoption would happen at a time (whichever referral is accepted first), and once everyone is home and a certain amount of time has passed (6 months to a year), homestudy updated and such, the second adoption could proceed. So we would not be adopting two children at once, unless they are sibs in the same program. This is definitely taking the looong view. Hope that makes sense.
I love comments and advice from those who have been there, so keep 'em coming. And just to be clear, dualing adoption is basically applying to another program within our agency and seeing what happens. Only one adoption would happen at a time (whichever referral is accepted first), and once everyone is home and a certain amount of time has passed (6 months to a year), homestudy updated and such, the second adoption could proceed. So we would not be adopting two children at once, unless they are sibs in the same program. This is definitely taking the looong view. Hope that makes sense.
