We had a conference call with our agency tonight, and it was pretty much what we expected. Actually, it strongly reminded us both of the Post-Failed-IVF “WTF Conversation” with the docs, ie:
1. Things aren’t where we thought they would be.
2. Things have changed.
3. We don’t really know why, but we have some ideas.
4. Here are some options.
5. They are all really expensive.
6. They might work.
8. We assume zero liability for any of them.
9. They are all really expensive.
In a nutshell, adoptions in Ethiopia have slowed down lots-n-lots and will stay that way for the foreseeable future through our agency. New families are being told they have a wait time of three years. Three years. 7 months ago, the wait time for new families was 8 months. So, yeah, you could say adoption from Ethiopia has slowed just a tad.
So, yeah, I've got my Irish up. Feeling snarky. And depressed. And anxious. And extremely upset. Again. Have we just wasted (another) 7 months (yup, 7 months yesterday--not that it matters--)?
It’s one thing when the agency is upbeat. It’s easy to go into denial mode, and believe things like once court opens, things will speed up/this is just a speed bump/it’s a minor slowdown while the process gets worked out. Of course, once the agency itself starts to acknowledge there’s a problem….well, that’s a different story.
Our options: Dual with another program (2 at once--starting over on a lot of stuff), exit the program and find another one entirely, or wait The Wait.
Denial—not just a river in Egypt, right?
I have absolutely no f*&%ing clue. It’s just been such, such, such a long road, with no end in sight.
Is the Ethiopia program deader than disco? Maybe.
Should we change programs? Probably.
Dual ET with another program? Maybe.
Raise the age considerably? Maybe, but likely it won't help.
Give up entirely and spend our free time diving in tropical waters all over the world? Maybe.
It's hard, just hard, to constantly, constantly revise the future. It's just....hard.
So maybe we choose not to. I mean, really?
Maybe we are done, and this is the sign we‘ve been avoiding for so long.
**I fully admit that this post is knee-jerk reaction to the convo tonight. Whoever calls me out in comments for wanting families to fall apart in order for me to purchase a baby will have their email address used to signed up for pay-for-it-later magazines, starting with Cat Fancy.
**Ok, that was kind of judgmental to those who subscribe to Cat Fancy. Sorry. I'm sure it's a super knowledgable publication about fancy cats.
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