Monday, April 4, 2011

How the numbers stack up

Today I had a conversation with our social worker about the Wonderful, Amazing List, and here’s how it shakes out.  The List is very fluid, as families can change their request at any point.  Some may put an adoption on hold for any number of reasons, including job loss or pregnancy, while others simply have a change in what will fit their family the best.  We are open to kiddos 0-24 months, either gender, or sibs up to 48 months.  This is really, really general, as about 75% of families want infant girls (at this particular point in time--things change daily).  So we are on multiple lists at any given point--sibs, singletons, infants, toddlers, boys, girls, yadda yadda yadda. Our social worker threw out some numbers (and they were far lower than I expected), but it's all a bit confusing when you don't have The List in front of you.

Truth be told, I don’t really know what any of it means.  Ethiopian adoptions are slowing down, and the future is unclear.  Our social worker seemed very confident that the slowdowns are not permanent, but a means to an end to have fewer fraudulent cases.  It’s a head-scratcher to me, but hey, whadda I know?
So my personal goal over the next year or so is to not obsessively watch the message boards for those who have been matched with kiddos.    Not to mentally count down referrals in front of us, because, honestly, I’m not sure many more are coming through anytime soon (and that’s from our agency, not my own paranoia), and how depressing would that be?  We are trying—really, really hard—to make the next months fun and interesting, including learning to scuba dive, trips to California and Montana, hitting a few national parks, a trip to Savannah, another to Hawaii, and just generally enjoying summer (when it finally freaking arrives here, but that’s a rant for another day). 
So at the end of the day, we are on The List, there are tons of people before us who have been waiting a heckuva lot longer, and things are moving slowly.  But we are on The List.  And that’s a darned good feeling.


  1. You are wise to not try to figure it out by watching for others' referrals. I stayed pretty much off of our agency specific message board because 1) not everyone who is using the agency even posts there and 2) it just make me antsy.

    I like your idea of soaking up lots of fun! And summer isn't there yet?? We need to switch climates. It has already hit over 90 here and it will be a long hot one, ugh.

  2. Hmmmmmm.... I wish it were more clear for you. I wish this didn't have to be so frustrating all the time. xxxxx

  3. oh YEAH! Have fun, fun, fun, lots of fun. i read a quote that I really liked - once there are kids on the scene, there is lots of joy but not a lot of fun. Go on the most extravagant, crazy holidays you can... my biggest regret is that I didn't bully my husband into travelling more before the babies! Scuba diving sounds amazing, especially.